April
Age 37. Bisexual. Female.
Age 15
A Religious Experience
“Let’s pretend we’re married,” my friend laughed at the grocery store, grabbing my hand. We loudly talked about “our honeymoon” to make sure the cashier could hear us. My head suddenly felt hot, and I mumbled that I didn’t want to do it anymore. In chapel, I prayed to not be gay because, I explained to God, I liked boys too much to give them up. I later learned what bisexuality is from an episode of The Tyra Banks Show.
Age 18
Oops he's in my life forever now
I agreed to go out to what I thought was a group dinner, and it turns out it was just this one guy. The “date” ended when we realized we didn’t like a single movie in common. I agreed to go out with him again, because I was self-conscious about my lack of relationship experience. I dreamed of breaking up with him every single day until he got me pregnant. Now he’s in my life forever.
Age 24
The Art School BF
He worked as a strip club DJ. Sometimes I visited him at work and we sat in his little booth, sketching figure drawings of the depressed lunchtime clientele hunching over the stage. The strippers didn’t like him because sometimes he forgot their names when announcing them on the mic.
Age 26
The Truck Driver
A truck driver from Maine, he taught me how to drive and let me practice French braids on his long hair. We broke up because he moved back to the East Coast (ironically, he drove there, just like he taught me).
Age 29
The Australian Husband
We followed each other on our weird Twitter accounts (RIP) and have the same sense of humour. He was in Sydney and travelled 15,500 km for our first date. Thank God for his sake that it worked out.
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