Natalie
Age 35. Femme nonbinary. Queer.
Age 15 - 21ish
Compulsory Heterosexuality
Underwhelming penetration by a string of drummers, goalies, and other men that left me thinking, “What’s the big deal with sex?” Somehow, I was always wanting more.
Age 21
My 2 Boys, One “Girl” Phase
Because surely if one cis het dude can’t satisfy me, two can, right? I met a man online when that wasn’t really a thing yet. He was 12 years older than me and grew up in the same small town that I did. We fell in love and only dated eachother after a series of failed threesome attempts. I still have his mom on Facebook.
Age 24
Baby’s First Newly-Open-Suburban Couple
I met an older married couple that lived in the ‘burbs, looking for a third. I got to see a real-life, grown-ass, un-airbrushed naked lady AND got to touch augmented boobies for the first time. I annoyed the husband by paying way more attention to her than He insisted on going down on me for the hour-long drive back to my place in the city. Nice folks.
Age 24
First Gay Club Kiss
After a year of attempting to flirt with the only openly lesbian woman I knew, I finally properly came on to her at a fundraiser at a gay bar. She was the only other non-man there, and the gay boys threw us the side eye when we started making out. She was a total tomboy by day, and I couldn’t believe how curvy, feminine, and soft she was naked.
Age 30
The Tinder Domme
We opened our long-term monogamous relationship, and I met my first female dominant on Tinder. Her sharp sense of humour and our shared love of whiskey and hot wings instantly made me feel safe. I’ll never forget her flogging me with gusto and then softly giving me a drink of my favourite single malt when she was done.
Age 31
Gardening is an Aphrodisiac
I met a beautiful woman on Tinder and struck up the most wholesome relationship. We totally vibed but hadn’t been physical after five dates (insert joke about sapphic women being too scared to make a move here). For our sixth date, I took her to my community garden plot, and after an afternoon pulling weeds, we finally got naked together.
Age 33
Men Are Back In the Mix
After a year of swearing off all straight cis men, I met a guy. We texted daily for a week, had a phone call to check the vibes, and then I reluctantly agreed to go on a coffee date. We connected instantly. After almost 3 hours of talking, we kissed. He gently grazed my neck with his hand before pulling away. I knew I was in trouble. It ended terribly, but it was a lot of fun.
Age 35
The Lovely Situationship
I met another polyamorous, neurodivergent, queer person in the pool of a local sex club. We had instant chemistry. It's been almost a year since we met, and I am about to mail him a ‘happy one-year situationship!’ card.
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