Maya
Age 30. Female. Bisexual.
Age 15
The Spring Awakening
My first kiss was at a musical theatre workshop with the hottest boy there. We got yelled at by an aging theatre director to “kiss with passion”. He’s gay now!
Age 19
The Dumb Drummer
I completely misunderstood that a guy who was messaging me, asking where I was in the middle of the night, wanted to hook up with me. We made out once, and then he started dating a girl who looked a lot like me.
Age 22
The Separatist
I had sex in Montreal with a man with a fleur de lis hanging above his bed (symbol of French Canadian Patriotism). He told me to move to his country because he could “never step foot outside Quebec”.
Age 23
The Most Boring Person in the World
I hooked up with this person in their shoebox condo to the sounds of a David Attenborough documentary. We dated for three months until they dumped me because I “stayed out too late on weeknights”.
Age 24
The Drama Queen
I hooked up with a beautiful woman in a neon yellow classroom. Later, she said she was “ruining my life” after we had gone out like 3 times.
Age 26
The DILF
I dated a recently divorced man with a daughter for 6 months. He begged me to be his girlfriend. When I said no, he stopped respecting me entirely. I see his roommate everywhere I go.
Age 27
The Cuddly Couple
I had sex with a married couple who were very much into therapy speak. They broke up shortly after we hooked up. The husband continued to message me until I blocked him.
Age 29
The Person Whom I Love
We had our first date on a street corner. I was the first person to ever finger her! We have two cats and many shared sweaters.
Disclaimer: All names and identifiable details have been modified to protect the reputions of our contributors in the eyes of their partners, colleagues, and parents.
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