Brandon
Age 36. Straight. Male.
Age 17
The Hot Tub Confession
We finally kissed after years of flirting. We were in my parents’ backyard hot tub. I blurted out that I loved her. She asked me to take her home. I regret how it made her feel, but not that I told her.
Age 21
The Magazine
I went to a sex club with an older woman who had been in some erotic movies. A journalist was there, and we posed for some photos for what I thought was a local blog. My ass and her hands crossed my Facebook feed a week later when I realized it was a massive magazine.
Age 23
The Piano
Her parents were away for the weekend, and she played me Mozart on their grand piano wearing nothing but glasses and gloves. Hot and classy.
Age 25
The Disaster
I met someone at a club and asked her out. On our first date, she ended up saying she doesn’t like dogs. It was my first time leaving mid-date. I only sort of regret doing that.
Age 27
The Psychologist
She was studying psychology and thought it would be best to unpack all my traumas and early childhood experiences on the first date to try to “get to know me”.
Age 30
The Neighbor
I started hooking up with my neighbor who lived on the same floor of my apartment building. We both weren’t looking for anything serious and eventually realized we were much better off as platonic friends. I miss the hookups… but I did inherit a surprisingly nice frying pan.
Age 36
The Dog Trainer
I was close to deleting the dating apps when I went on an amazing date with this incredible woman. She's a dog trainer. We eventually talked about being exclusive, met each other’s families, and said I love you. We are a year in, and now talking about moving in. I’m cautiously optimistic and also...deeply terrified.
Disclaimer: All names and identifiable details have been modified to protect the reputions of our contributors in the eyes of their partners, colleagues, and parents.
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